u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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