Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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