the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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