I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
