we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
did you just send me my own nude
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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