Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
