Yo dont text me then not text me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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