Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
