The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
