I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
