He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
