is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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