That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
