as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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