I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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