so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
