My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize