I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I look excited, but its just a facade.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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