how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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