nut hugger
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i need some magic done to my vagina
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
