I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
