And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize