I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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