I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
