super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
where are my eyebrows?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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