She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize