Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
