Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
How does one acquire holy water?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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