is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pants are for mortals
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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