i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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