You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
