pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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