The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
