I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
