shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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