I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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