He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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