I heard we made out
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
