just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
