I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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