She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize