She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize