You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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