You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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