We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
