i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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