Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
