You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
