i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
