I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
