My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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