I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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