It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude. I can hear the air.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
