I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
