what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize