she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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