Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
