dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
