there's paper in my vomit.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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