Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
