so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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