Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
