You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
