If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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