my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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