i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
