hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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